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What are the key values driving your relationship?

The Coaching Academy Blog

Posted: February 2023

Values are what matter to us; what’s important, and what we focus on.  They are what cause us to take, or not to take action. We can define a value as “The moral principle or accepted standards of a person or a group”  Which I think shows us how important they actually are in everything we do.

We asked Relationship Coach Stephen Bradshaw to tell us more…

 

Our personal values are at the foundation of every relationship and they have a huge impact on relationship happiness and success too.

Many people don’t consciously think about the moral and ethical principles which they tend to uphold. They are just kind of there. Imprinted on us from childhood. It’s highly likely that we will have chosen a partner sharing similar values but it’s not something that’s ever actually been discussed.

When you bring these values into your conscious mind, you can make a decision on how relevant they are, to the “you” of today. You can see what you are bringing to the relationship as an individual and which core values you share together. When you make small changes to your behaviours to live these out more often, you get a feeling that you have improved the quality of your relationship. It’s great to see couples experience this realisation.

As a Relationship Coach, I focus on values to help couples reduce conflict, improve communication, redevelop trust and increase the intimacy and passion they feel within their relationship.

As a coach, it’s my clients who do the work and I’m there as a guide. It’s very much a process of empowerment. My primary aim as their coach is to provide them with all the tools they need to develop and maintain a happy, healthy and respectful relationship that is strong enough to weather the “storms” of life, and develop as we move through different seasons in our lives together.

I help them identify specific relationship challenges, prioritise their impact, identify their shared values and map out a plan toward a tangible resolution. Couples dedicate time to each other to implement these changes and the by-product is often that feeling of excitement they had at the beginning of their relationship.

What are the key values driving your relationship? 

When I first became a father in 2015 my focus shifted.  Prior to that, I was motivated by achieving things at work, buying a nice house, and earning more money.  Life as a new dad made me question these driving forces and values and how they affected my feeling of purpose and self-worth. I came to the realisation I needed to focus on the values that were important to me in my relationship, that it’s our close relationships that offer us the greatest feeling of fulfillment and happiness and I’ve learned so much about myself during my coaching journey that it’s really helped my own relationship too, with both my wife and my kids.

Can you share with us 3 relationship top tips:-

  1. Practice listening to your partner without giving them advice. This is harder than you think as it’s your instinct to want to help them move forward. Sometimes people just need to feel heard.
  2. Always have a date night in the diary. It’s so important to dedicate one-on-one time together and have something to look forward to.
  3. You don’t have to agree with your partner but it’s your responsibility to understand their perspective. What contributes to relationship happiness is not how much a couple disagree, but how they move forward and adapt.

How did your journey to becoming a coach begin?

My journey all started at The Coaching Academy’s free Introduction to Life Coaching event. I felt intrigued to go after a friend recommended it and looking back now, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. 

There are so many people who can benefit from coaching and of course, there are lots of niches to choose from (see here for upcoming niche workshops). I believe many of the challenges we face today centre around our relationships, and the values that come into play, either at work or at home, so I would encourage all new coaches and anyone interested in coaching to explore this option to see if they feel it’s the right fit.

 

 

If you are feeling inspired and would you like to have a coaching business you can run from the comfort of your own home, or add coaching skills to your existing role, then do join us on our Introduction to Life Coaching webinar - choose from available dates  

Are you already qualified as a coach? Our wide range of coaching training events, webinars and courses will enable you to upskill in your career or grow your coaching business – view booking calendar

If you'd like to read about the coaching journey of more of our qualified coaches, visit our blog and keep an eye out for our monthly Coach in the Spotlight features!

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