What If - Abigale Otchere

Have you ever turned down an opportunity, business venture or even the chance of love because of the fear of the unknown-only at some point to have regretted your decision and sheepishly wonder “What If I had?" In life we can often discard many significant moments, open doors, new connections or relationships because of our reluctance to step out from our comfort zone and explore a new direction!

Recently, I heard this amazing quote and immediately added it my list of inspiring quotes... “Can’t, couldn’t do it and could, did it all.” What impressed me about this profound quote is that it unpacked the hidden truth that the moment we tell ourselves we can’t, we block the gateway to our minds to explore the unknown possibilities however, by simply saying ‘I could’-  immediately grants our minds permission to inquire, probe and go beyond what we first thought would be possible for ourselves.

What are the things you have been telling yourself you cannot do? What doors, countries, cities friends, career pathways, ventures, and qualifications could you be flourishing in right now?

Today I would like to share with you a few suggestions to help empower you when wrestling with the thoughts “What If.?” So you can make a turnaround from dwelling on reluctance or fear…

1 - Master the art of visualising what you want

Have you ever closed your eyes and pictured what success would look like for you? There have been countless situations in my life where I have experienced, first hand, the incredible power of visualising what I want and actually obtaining it. I first learnt this art in my youth whilst completing in athletics at county level. Each time I trained for a live event I constructed the images of crossing the finishing line as a winner in my mind. I replayed images of my sporting heroes such as Flo Jo and Carl Lewis and imitated from their races their strides, confidence, power and determination to win. This process is typically cultivated around the world by top athletes of all sporting events, who are taught by their coaches to study content taken from World Class Olympians. The technique Visual conceptualisation releases spurs of ephemeral feelings of anticipation, and the drive to win. Whenever I used this technique I discovered my confidence levels intensify, personal best performance times were created and the person in whom I was becoming was for me priceless.

2 - Create a vision or action board

Leading on from self-visualising comes the importance of creating permanent images which can be collated in the form of a vision or action board. This resource can become a wonderful source of constant focus and inspiration of what it is you want to achieve for yourself and your family. As emphasised in my previous section we can never underestimate the power of imagery. Typically, our homes are littered with photographs taken from iconic moments such as graduations, birthdays, holidays, weddings etc. but very few of us have pictures on our walls which depict our aspirations and goals for the future. I encourage you to take a walk through your home and see whether or not this is the case, and if it isn’t why not consider creating a vision board for you or your family.

3 - Becoming more spontaneous

It is my goal to walk alongside my clients and support them as they transition from their comfortable pitch to a landmark of significance and meaning. Many do not realise that most of the “magic,” happens in our lives outside of our comfort zone. I do strongly subscribe to the philosophy of planning and preparing, but I have had to retrain my mind to create space for the divine opportune moments of where one cannot necessarily plan ahead for. Implementing spontaneity, or at least being more open to the idea, can really add value to your life and help to shred away the tendency to worry. 

4 - Keeping a journal

The benefits of journaling are enormous and can be surprising to learn journaling can stretch your IQ as a result of the positive correlation between language and intelligence through the exploration of learning new words. Journaling can also help boost your memory and can provide a great source of healing through its therapeutic process. You may also find keeping a journal can help to spark your creativity as this resourceful the process makes way for you to jot down ideas, goals, plans, and even concerns. Journaling helps you to reflect and become acutely aware of your empowering or disempowering thoughts and emotions and by writing them down. This forces your mind to declutter and become clearer, which this, in turn, can enhance your self confidence due to the release of endorphins. Why not grab a pen and your notebook and begin the process today of scribing your top ten goals and dream vacations.

5 - Fun Factor

With many of us working longer hours, running companies or launching start up’s from within our homes, not to mention for some the juggling of children and other life commitments, it is no wonder some of us have forgotten how to unplug and just play!  For some of us, work may have crippled the fun factor in our lives. We are living in the most technically advanced times with constant information just at the reach at our finger tips, but as a tragic result technology has got us so consumed that we have forgotten about the importance to ‘unplug and play.’ When was the last time you experienced a belly laugh? The kind that had you screaming, howling, rolling with uncontrollable tears and pain in your side. Or when did you last take a walk in your favourite park, city or merely play on the swings in the park with a cone of ice cream in your hand? Having fun is an essential ingredient to our growth, success and overall well being.

6 - Self Mastery- the art of saying YES

One of the reasons why some people are reluctant to say yes or put themselves forward, especially within a working environment, is because of the fear of making a mistake or perhaps not fulfilling their bosses expectations. However, Sir Richard Branson MBE founder of Virgin Atlantic and philanthropist says “If someone offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes-then learn how to do it later.” One of the best approaches you could start today is to conduct a self audit by asking yourself; what doors am I closing on myself to? Who do I keep avoiding that I actually could benefit from having a conversation with? What love could I be experiencing if I allowed myself to be emotionally connected to someone new? Instead of asking yourself," what if it doesn’t work out?" reframe the question to “What am I allowing myself to miss out on and why? Both are valuable questions but only one leaves you empowered to move forward into new dimensions, new horizons and a better version of yourself.