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Coaching to heal from Narcissistic Abuse with Ronia Fraser

The Coaching Academy Blog

Posted: March 2020

We caught up with the inspiring Ronia Fraser, International Coach of the Year, for a glimpse into the life of an award-winning coach. We travelled from London to the British seaside and talked about her Narcissistic Abuse Healing programme as well as her coaching journey. We hope you enjoy her inspiring story!

Ronia Fraser is a Protégé coach with The Coaching Academy and is a qualified Personal Performance Coach, NLP Practitioner and Corporate and Executive Coach. She works with clients all over the world helping them recover from Narcissistic Abuse. Ronia uses coaching not only to create a non-judgemental and compassionate environment but also to strategically facilitate the healing journey.

We met up with Ronia after the 2019 International Coaching Awards to hear more about her work as a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach. She not only gave us a glimpse into her daily life as an award-winning coach but we delved deep into her coaching journey, what it takes to build a successful coaching business and all the tools she uses alongside coaching to offer a holistic approach to healing and recovery after abuse. 

If you prefer to listen to our interview with Ronia, you can do so here. 

 As an International Coach, Ronia works mainly from her home, working with her clients through Skype and connecting with her community through the power of social media.
There are situations, however, that require a personal touch, especially the first session with a new client, and so Ronia rents a beautiful office in London Bridge, where she sees clients in person. 

Ronia lives outside of London, at the wonderful British seaside in East Sussex, so after our visit to her office, we quickly hopped on the train and embarked on her regular commute. She often listens to podcasts and audiobooks but on this occasion, we delved deep into her journey of becoming a qualified coach.

“Studying with The Coaching Academy started very randomly for me. I wasn’t planning on becoming a coach although I was aware of what coaching was.  I did my MBA and coaching is considered a leadership capability. I’ve had coaching on my CV without knowing what coaching actually is. 

I was at a point in my life where everything was shifting and I wasn’t sure where I was going or what I even wanted. All I knew was that it wasn’t what I had been doing up to that point. 

I had quit my job without a plan B. It was a hot day in my top floor flat, I was sitting in front of my fan feeling a bit sorry for myself and all of a sudden a Coaching Academy ad popped up, about a free two-day event. So I figured – Chelsea Harbour Hotel sounds fancy, I bet they have AC. I thought it’s much more productive to spend a weekend there, to do something, maybe learn something, instead of sitting on a couch. 

So I went. 

Ten days later I incorporated my first company. The life I have now I couldn’t have even imagined at that point. “

Watch the video below to listen to how Ronia discovered The Coaching Academy, how she came along because an ad popped up on Facebook at just the right moment and how she set up her own business just 10 days after attending the event! 

Life can lead you on unexpected paths and it’s your choice whether or not you choose to explore it or stay on the same road. Ronia went all in and discovered that it is exactly where she needs to be. 

As we walked into her beautiful home, we were greeted by her gorgeous black cat Queen Shadows. “Please meet my personal catsistant! You can definitely tell that she was born in Hollywood.”, Ronia laughs.

And indeed, the Queen watched us intently as we set up to discuss the work Ronia does on a day to day basis with her clients. 

“I work mainly but not exclusively with women. It can be someone who comes out of an abusive romantic relationship or someone who comes out of a work situation with a narcissistic boss, maybe they had narcissistic parents. So there is no one particular kind of person but what all of them have in common is that they are struggling with their mental health as a result of it.

A consequence of narcissistic abuse is, for example, severe anxiety, depression, flashback, nightmares, so it’s a very draining time for my clients. Many of the survivors that come to me have lost everything, they lose their sense of direction and their sense of self. 

That’s why coaching is powerful in that aspect of the recovery – because I help them to rebuild their identity recovering who they were always meant to be.”

Ronia believes in the holistic approach to recovery so she developed a wide range of tools to help her clients. She uses not only Coaching but NLP as well as Hypnotherapy and Havening Techniques®. 

We talked about all of these tools and how she uses them in the interview below. 

Some people believe in signs from the universe. And some people believe in themselves. Ronia Fraser learned how to listen to herself, to trust her unconscious mind when making big decisions. 

Before becoming a coach, Ronia spent 20 years in a finance career and lived in multiple countries including Germany, where she was born; the Netherlands, the UK where she worked and studied in London, the US, in Los Angeles, where she worked in the music industry and where her life came crashing down.
That's when she returned to London, where she found refuge to reevaluate and eventually discovered the path towards coaching. 

When she felt that this was the right path, she didn’t hesitate.

And that’s what happened when she decided to move to the seaside as well. While browsing flats online she saw one of those photos you just keep going back to because you know it's yours. But after travelling down from London for a viewing of the flat, she felt undecided.

Many of us feel that way sometimes, part of us wants to jump in, part of us longs for the safety of the familiar. Ronia sat down for a coffee at the corner cafe, chatting with a friendly lady, trying to make a decision. “I’m on edge, I haven’t taken the leap just yet.” ‘Do you know what this place is called?” The woman asked. Ronia didn’t. “It’s The Edge.’ 

And as she left The Edge she went over the edge and made her decision to rent the beautiful house on the seaside and leave the hectic London life behind. 

But it hasn’t always been this simple for Ronia. 4years ago, she went through a relationship with a narcissist herself and lost herself and almost her life. 

“Overnight I went from being highly functioning to not being functioning at all. I was always goal-driven, always very comfortable with who I was. And then in a very short period of time, everything that I’d built for myself came crashing down. 

I went on my own recovery journey, trying to figure something out that would work. There didn’t seem to be anything. But there was one thing  I always kept in my mind. Something happened to me that turned me into this. Which means there has to be something that can help me reverse it, as quickly as it happened. 

The game-changer came with the coaching because at that point I was so lost. The coaching helped me turn the focus on myself. And I went on this mission to get myself out of this. Because I knew it wasn’t always that way. 

What I didn’t know at that time was that it would turn into the most liberating journey of my life.” 

Today, Ronia has made it her calling to help others who have suffered narcissistic abuse. She works with clients 1:1 and online, gives talks about Narcissistic Abuse Recovery internationally and has released a free ebook for survivors who are on their healing journey “How to Heal from Narcissistic Abuse – Your 5 Step Strategy to Recover The True You™”.
She is currently turning her established recovery coaching program into an online program so she can offer this recovery system to everyone who needs it. 

Listen to Ronia below as shares her journey from abuse to healing and her mission to help others find their true self. 

 Ronia Fraser’s story is unique, as is the story of all TCA qualified coaches.
If you would like to find out if coaching is part of your journey, start by joining us in our interactive live webinar. Choose from available dates here.

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