Life Transitions: Strategies for Supporting as a Life Coach

When we are faced with life transitions, we are standing at a crossroads. In my coaching I use the image of a crossroads because it embodies the past, present and future. Life transitions have an element of each; and a life coach stands with the client to reflect on and act upon each aspect:

• The past is the path that has already been walked. This includes previous experience, both positive and negative, strengths and beliefs. 
• The present crossroads is the context of decision making, values and priorities. 
• The future is the unknown path which holds possibilities and perhaps fear. 

 Support from a life coach within a transition is not about what decision is taken, but about how the client approaches the crossroads. There is a choice to embrace the opportunity to discover more about ourselves, or we can respond to our fears or limiting beliefs. A supportive life coach will hold space to reflect on the relevant past and the current reality and support the steps forward of the client. 

A life coach can support clients in life transitions using this crossroads analogy as follows:

1. Looking at the ‘Past Path’

• Previous experience: Draw out the client’s strengths to reveal resilience that brings the known into the unknown. Recalling how they rose to a previous challenge will empower and affirm that they can do it again.
• Patterns of limiting beliefs: (‘I’m just not an organised person and there’s so much to do’) can be gently challenged as the client discovers alternative ways of looking at the situation. 
• Interpretation of events: Explore a perspective of previous experience that brings out the learning, responsibility and growth of the client.

Key questions to ask your client:

• What strengths demonstrate that you have handled something similar before? 
• What from previous experience can serve you well here?
• What is a belief about yourself that will support you?

2. Looking at the ‘Present Path’

• Emotions: Acknowledge that there will be conflicting emotions swirling around.  Loss, confusion, disappointment, hesitation, excitement, relief, fear and overwhelm to name a few. Be curious about what these reveal about what is important for the client.
• Practical aspects: A supportive coach brings clarity within the myriad of threads and issues, details and competing segments of a transition by bringing focus and a step-by-step approach. 
• Priorities: Identify the order of tasks and the quick wins. This will bring progress and a sense of accomplishment. Look for what motivates the client and focus on opportunities that provide the necessary impetus.  
• Relationships and support network: Look together at what resources are available to the client. 
• Values: Essential work is to highlight what is important in the process. This will inform how the decision is made. Discovering more deeply what is important in the outcome will reveal why they want to move forward which informs what they move to.

Key questions to ask your client:

• What does the emotion you identify here reveal to you about what you deeply value?
• What brings you joy in the journey?  What can you do to increase that this week?
• What practical step will bring you the most peace?
• What values are important to include in the desired outcome?

3. Looking at the ‘Future Path’ 

• Looking ahead: To the choices of one or several paths, a client can see both opportunities and obstacles. A good coach asks about the benefits of the opportunities and challenges the perspective of the obstacles.
• Being safe and certain are high needs: In a transition, the client can still have these needs met. Ask what can provide stability and a sense of security for the client within the changes. Focus on what remains a place of safety or how the client could gain more of what is needed.
• Managing conflict: It is normal to experience internal conflict, and opposing beliefs or desires can lead to stagnation. A supporting coach walks with the client as they discover what parts of themselves can agree and take action. Once in motion the client’s self-esteem will rise and conflict subsides.
• Fear of the unknown: Fear of the unknown or what may or may not happen, can be paralysing. To support the client, focus on what is in their control, where the quick wins are, what is going well and where they can find support.

Key questions to ask your client:

• How would you imagine a confident, successful person would approach this obstacle?
• What are your top 3 values within the decision-making process? 
• How can you orientate your next step around one or more of these values?
• Acknowledging the internal conflict, what can you be certain that you want?

The impact of using the ‘Past, Present, Future’ framework of a transition is that the client walks through a thorough process exploring all the aspects of a major life transition or decision. While coaching is forward looking, we bring to the coaching process our experience of the past and the present which of course impacts how we face the future. The support of a life coach through life transitions involves questions that shine the light on the various paths so that the client can walk confidently forwards with assurance of their choice.

Life transitions offer opportunities

Major life transitions offer opportunities to discover what we really desire.  I explore this further in a chapter on Vision and Values that a contributed for an upcoming book 'The Life Coach’s Toolkit Vol. 2: Ready-to-use Strategies, Principles & Activities’ (Thin Leaf Press) where I encourage coaches how to seek to harness the power of what inspires, what is important and where is the impact. 

As coaches we shine light on these opportunities and keep the focus there, so our clients gain momentum which leads to confidence and further action towards their destination. We offer support through affirmation. We offer accountability through agreed action. The progress made raises the client’s self-esteem. And we offer celebration which increases motivation to continue through the transition.   

I encourage you to explore this process of standing at a crossroads with your clients. As coaches, our confidence grows when we see the positive impact that our support provides. Many times, my clients have expressed a growth in confidence in their decision-making process simply because they have taken the opportunity to more deeply understand their desires.  

About Author:

Anna Prinz is a graduate of the Coaching Academy who now runs her own coaching business called The Crossroads Coach. Anna works with people who are facing life transitions or crossroads in life, supporting them to find clarity, confidence and focus on their decisions. Anna is passionate about making authentic choices and to serve others to do the same. Using the image of standing at a crossroads, Anna joins her clients at an intersection to offer the space to reflect and reset for the journey ahead.

If you would like to hear from some more of graduate coaches on how they are using their life coaching diploma to impact the lives of others facing life transitions and other areas of their life, you can view Our Storytellers page to hear their inspiring coaching journeys.