What is Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching?

The 1st of June marks World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day, so what better time to not only raise awareness about this current and very important topic but also explore what Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching really entails.

Narcissistic Abuse is defined as non-physical abuse perpetrated by someone exhibiting narcissistic traits or behaviour (including but not limited to emotional, psychological, and mental abuse, coercive control and bullying).  It is one of the most common, yet least acknowledged forms of abuse that without fail has a detrimental and life-altering impact on the survivor’s (mental) health and quality of life. Survivors often lose everything - their career, money and house, their dignity, self-respect, self-worth and most importantly themselves. The life they knew is gone, and so is the person they thought they were. They literally start from scratch, rebuilding their lives and themselves. And that’s exactly where coaching works its magic.

So How Can Coaching Help Narcissistic Abuse Survivors?  

1. Provide A Non-Judgmental and Safe Environment

People who have experienced Narcissistic Abuse often go through the darkest time of their life seemingly all alone. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching means holding the space for someone to recover themselves, having their back when everyone else has written them off as lost cause, and believing in them even if they don’t themselves.  

2. Keep the Eye On The Ball

Recovery from narcissistic abuse is anything but linear and oftentimes feels like going one step forward and three steps back. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching means holding the goal of being healthy on behalf of the client, while they are not capable of doing so themselves. It means keeping the eye on the ball, actively bringing the focus back on themselves, away from the narcissist, and moving forward when the mind naturally is drawn to hold onto the past.  

3. Use Language Consciously

Narcissistic Abuse causes significant linguistic damage in the victim. In simple terms, they’ve undergone calculated and systematic brainwashing. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching means identifying unhealthy language patterns and limiting beliefs through active listening and challenging them. NLP is an incredibly powerful and complementary tool which allows for reversing the damage.  

4. Set Goals

After having experienced narcissistic abuse, survivors find themselves in a place where they don’t know who they are, how they got here and where they’re supposed to be going. Imagining a future is impossible in the beginning and the initial goal is usually simply to stay alive. Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching means gently supporting the client to allow themselves to dream again. Step by step, nudge by nudge until a new and healthy life comes more and more into reach for the first time in a long time. And that’s where the fun really begins.  

5. Create an Authentic Life

Abuse survivors tend to always put other peoples’ needs and well-being before their own, always playing by other people’s rules, never having known who they truly are.   

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching means providing the survivor with the support and tools, such as values elicitation, that allow them to uncover their authentic self, probably for the first time in their lives.  This in turn opens the doors for them to create their most authentic life, completely in line with their new and healthy values and belief systems.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching is a very advanced form of coaching…

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching also means stabilizing the client’s emotional well-being, removing triggers and updating any faulty conditioning to ensure it won’t happen again in the future.

It is important to note that having experienced Narcissistic Abuse in itself does not qualify anyone to coach others and without sufficient deep healing on oneself and additional in-depth specialist training, it can cause more harm than good. 

It is important to understand that Narcissistic Abuse results in complex trauma, which at times can exhibit severe mental health challenges (cPTSD).

Coaching is only suitable at the later stages of the healing process.  Please do not coach a client during the acute stages of their recovery journey without having completed appropriate training in suitable trauma intervention modalities but refer them to a qualified professional instead. 

Ronia Fraser is one of the leading experts in the field of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery and the UK’s 1st Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach. Since 2017 she’s been helping abuse survivors from all over the world get back on their feet, regain their mental health and recover who they were always meant to be. She is an internationally certified and multi-award-winning trauma recovery coach, clinical hypnotherapist & hypnosis trainer, NLP Master Practitioner & Trainer and Havening Techniques Practitioner. 

She is one of our Protégé Coaches and Winner of the 2019 International Coach of the Year Award.

If you would like to find out more about Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching, Ronia has kindly said readers can contact her via her website: www.roniafraser.com

If you are experiencing narcissistic abuse, or any other kind of domestic abuse, it is very important to speak to somebody about it. Even if you're not sure what's going on, you should still talk through what you are experiencing. You can contact: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk          

If you have not already done so, please do join us for our Introduction to Life Coaching webinar to learn more about coaching as a career and how coaching can be used to help people deal with changes & challenges and move confidently forward in their lives - choose from available dates here.