Most people at some point in their life could benefit from an improvement in their self-confidence. Often, just talking about it isn’t enough. In order to make lasting change to this life challenge you have to take action and believe you can change.
Change doesn’t always happen quickly or easily, but armed with the tools and strategies, the desire to change through taking consistent and regular action; it is possible to transform your beliefs.
If you find yourself wanting to work through confidence issues then we have some top tips for you to work through: Step 1:
Step 1 is to start to challenge all those negative messages that come from the voice within. For example, if you’ve ever been turned down for a date you may feel rejected or embarrassed. You may then react by considering yourself unattractive or that you will always be alone and it is these negative inner messages that can prevent you from achieving your goals.
People with healthy confidence have an inner voice that conveys positive and reassuring messages, even when things go wrong. These people choose to learn from their mistakes and use them to develop.
They often bounce back from negative inner messages by re-framing the problem. For example, if you have been turned down for a date you could think, “never mind, I know I am an attractive, good person and I will find someone else”. Re-programming the mind to think more positively can work wonders – try it! Challenge your inner voice!
Write down 50 things you like about yourself, if you need some support from friends and family then that is absolutely okay. If you have to, start by listing 25. It can be absolutely anything, from shape of your fingernails to your incredible patience.
Whatever figure you start with, even if you can just manage 10 at the beginning, add at least one new thing you like about yourself every day. Do this for at least 30 days and see how it can build up good feelings and a boost in self-esteem.
It’s so very easy to forget our achievements and the positive things that make us who we are so this reminder could go a long way. If you ever start to doubt yourself just look at the list with all your good points!
3.) Enlist the Support of Others
For some it can be very difficult to improve self-esteem or confidence without the help of others and that’s okay. However this can be the most difficult step for some to take. If you have low confidence or poor self-image for example, you may not be willing to ask for help because you don’t think you deserve it.
If this sounds like it could be you then repeat step 1 and 2 and consider the following:
• Ask really trusted friends to tell you 5 things they like about you and get them to write them down.
• Find a friend (or a coach) who will listen to you – without trying to fix things for you
• Remind those who love you to keep reminding you that they do (tell them to, this is absolutely allowed as they truly care for you after all!)
• Look to pay others genuine compliments – and if they pay them back just say “thank you!”. Just thank you and nothing else.
Spend 5 minutes every day, visualising and talking yourself through how a life of great happiness and confidence would be. Then commit to 1 action that could start to make this happen.
Remember, in order to improve your confidence you have to be willing to try something new or different. If you always do what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten!
The Coaching Academy was established in 1999, and is now the world's largest coaching school.
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The ability to set goals makes an enormous contribution to the success of an individual. Most successful people are goal-orientated. They take time to identify what it is that they want and they build up a really clear and detailed picture of what achieving the goal will look and feel like. They then take regular action to move towards their goal. Sounds simple enough right?
After taking maternity leave from the police I went back to my old role in 2008 but was less than inspired so had some coaching to help me work out what I wanted to do. I was on a conference for women in policing when I first realised that it was possible to re-train to do something much more inspirational. An ex-police officer was working as a coach at the conference and that was when I knew coaching was for me!