Why do some people have more self-belief than others? Why do some people 'get on with it', while others prevaricate? Is self-belief innate within us, or is it a skill that can be learned?
Why do some people have more self-belief than others? Why do some people ‘get on with it’, while others prevaricate? Is self-belief innate within us, or is it a skill that can be learned?
As a coach, a lot of my work focuses on confidence building. My extensive work with senior managers and business leaders over the years has shown me that everyone suffers from self-doubt from time to time – the differences lie in our ability to vocalise our fears and take action to overcome negative beliefs.
Successful people tend to share a positive mindset. They set personal goals and are quick to take action. Whether it’s CEOs, small business owners or entrepreneurs; business leaders have several core traits in common: first, they are decisive and action orientated; secondly, they set clear, measurable goals; thirdly, even if they don’t always know how they are going to achieve their goal, their expectation is they will find a way.
But even those with self-belief doubt themselves sometimes. Those at the top are expected to be ‘ultra’ confident, to have all the answers – and they expect that of themselves too, so there are few people (if any) to whom they would speak about their concerns; and that can be dangerously isolating.
Our beliefs develop from a complex mix of our attitudes, values, memories, decisions, internal mind-talk – and the impact of our personal environment. We really are what we think. Without self-belief we are more likely to procrastinate, make poor choices, lack accountability, or even fall into a state of victim mentality. Those who over-prepare for action or look unrelentingly for the reasons why something may fail, also lack self-belief.
What is the solution? If self-talk is becoming negative, how can we change? The answer is to challenge our fears and take positive action; to overcome any limiting beliefs that are holding us back. Easy to say, but sometimes harder to achieve.
The great news is turning negative thoughts or attitudes into positive ones can be quick and easy. It all depends on the motivation of the individual and their willingness to give the concept a try. Much has been written about ‘acting as if’ you have already succeeded, or reciting affirmations to help change your state of mind. Sometimes my clients resist those things they don’t feel authentic. However, these two actions are an extremely powerful starting point for change. It’s really important to understand that often, when a limiting thought enters our head, nothing has actually changed except our point of focus. We have taken our eye off what we are looking to achieve and instead, have allowed doubt or negative self-talk to creep in. That affects not only our thoughts, but our body language, posture, what we feel, how we view the situation in that moment, the things we say to ourselves – and therefore the outcome as well.
Over 90% of what we fear never actually happens. By acknowledging the ten per cent possibility and preparing for it in case it happens, it becomes easier to take practical actions towards the successful outcome you desire. By changing your self-belief, you literally change your mind.
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