A lack of self-confidence can negatively affect one area or a number areas of your life. The affect can be debilitating and it is a common issue that is often brought to coaching sessions. Here are 7 sure-fire ways to boost your self esteem.
A lack of self-confidence can negatively affect one area or a number areas of your life. The affect can be debilitating and it is a common issue that is often brought to coaching sessions.
We're going to use the case of Coach Rachel as an example of how a coach can help with confidence issues. She also provides you with 7 sure-fire ways to boost your self esteem following her successful coaching sessions with her client Sophia.
Coach Rachel is a Life Coach and she is proud of her recent client Sophia. Sophia came to Rachel six months ago with some self-confidence issues that she felt were holding her back in life. She felt intimidated by certain people at work as she believed that they were better than her. When she was placed in social situations where she had to talk to new people she felt they didn't really want to be stuck talking to her, and her belief was that no-one would want to talk to her.
Coach Rachel recalls a session with Sophia where she stated "I'm boring and don't know what to say most of the time. My mind goes blank when I meet new people and I get really embarrassed trying to make small talk at work. As for dating - I haven't done that for over two years and i'm no good at it!"
After having a couple of sessions with Sophia, it became clear that she had lost sight of who she was, what her values were and what made her unique. She had also got into the unhelpful habit of putting herself down in front of people, negatively thinking and had also been in her current job for 4 years without a pay rise or promotion.
Here are some of the discoveries Coach Rachel made and techniques she developed together with her client Sophia to boost self esteem:
Write a list of your top seven qualities. These are what make you unique. Carry these around with you, on a piece of paper or as a note on your smart phone so you can remind yourself who you are and what makes you special as you work to changing your negative behaviours and thinking.
Think about the times in your life when you've been successful at something. Write a list of these times and remind yourself how you did this and how great it felt when you'd achieved your goals. How did you feel and what did these successes look like? Use this past experience to fuel your self-belief and confidence for achieving your goals in the future.
Sophia kept a tally of how many times she spoke negatively about herself. This ensured that she became acutely aware of how many times a day she was telling people or herself that she wasn't any good. This was a real eye-opener for her, which successfully led her to decrease the frequency of this external negative dialogue and also turn it around with some more positive thoughts and behaviours that wouldn't be holding her back in any way.
We can help ourselves by looking at others in a constructive and positive way rather than negatively comparing ourselves with them. Why compare yourself to others when noone else in the entire world can do a better job of being you? Instead of comparing notice their characteristics. Look at how they breed a glowing self-confidence and pick up on their words and body language so you can add these to your own repertoire.
Being able to accept, believe and feel good about compliments is crucial to cultivating a high level of self-confidence. The best way to accept compliments is to look the person in the face, smile and say ‘thank-you'. Nothing else, bury that urge to reply with a negative response or to bat away the compliment in an embarassed manner. If you find it hard to accept compliments for yourself then think of how the other person will be feeling. Looking embarrassed or looking down at your feet uncomfortably will only make the person giving the compliment awkward - no-one wins in that situation!
Using positive affirmations every day is really effective. Look at the tally of the times when you've spoken negatively about yourself and re-frame them in to a positive statement. This is an affirmation and they are really powerful tools for self confidence as you're talking to your subconscious - where all your negative thoughts are stored.
Pick three strong statements, which literally make a negative self-belief into a positive one. For example, if you believe you're not a confident person then ‘I am a confident person' should be one of your daily positive affirmations. Say your positive affirmations out loud or write them down throughout your day as this makes them stronger because you're connecting with yourself.
Take time out to nurture yourself. Eat well and drink less alcohol. Go to sleep early and exercise. Make any small adjustments possible as they are ways to prove to youreslf that you are worthy of being cared for. Remember you deserve to take care of yourself and be taken care of!
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